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EXCLUSIVE: Cubs Fan 'Steve Bartman' Actually Time-Traveler Art Bell!

EXCLUSIVE:  Cubs Fan 'Steve Bartman' Actually Time-Traveler Art Bell!

(10-16-03) The Wacky World News has learned exclusively that the Chicago Cubs fan whose interference with play in Game 6 of the recent National League baseball playoffs may have cost the Cubbies a spot in this year's World Series, is none other than a younger, time-traveling Art Bell, weekend host of the overnight radio program, Coast-to-Coast AM (view photo).

Following his public mea culpa earlier today to the Chicago media and fans, "Steve Bartman" as he is otherwise known granted an exclusive interview to WWN reporters in which the truth was revealed.

According to the youthful Bell, he was visited some thirty years ago by his older self after the Cubs and Boston Red Sox met in the World Series in the original 2003 timeline, which eventually precipitated the start of Armageddon and the End of the World. In order to forestall this fated catastrophe, the elder Bell recruited him to travel back to the present and help alter the course of history.

"The old guy knew that the only one he could trust to pull this off was himself," remarked a flustered 'Bartman'. "We thought that [intervening in the game] would be the least conspicuous way to change things, but we didn't count on all the grief and publicity and everything .... I mean, the Cubs usually lose all the time anyway, don't they?!" He then quickly departed the scene, stating that he may have left something on the stove prior to his unexpected leap into the future.

The current Art Bell could not be reached for comment at his Nevada residence; however, unconfirmed reports have placed him today in the environs of New York City.

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