Art read the following 'Pet Rules' during Saturday night's show:
To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit And Like To Complain About Our Pets:
They live here. You don't.If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they...
Eat lessDon't ask for money all the timeAre easier to trainUsually come when calledNever drive your carDon't hang out with drug-using friendsDon't smoke or drinkDon't worry about having to buy the latest fashionsDon't wear your clothesDon't need a gazillion dollars for college, andIf they get pregnant, you can sell their children