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Creepy Clown Craze Claims Ronald McDonald

The latest victim of the creepy clown craze, beloved fast food mascot Ronald McDonald has been sidelined by his parent company as sinister imposters sully his image.

McDonald's announced that they are curtailing appearances by the legendary character at community events due to the current anti-clown climate in America and other parts of the world.

The 53-year-old goodwill ambassador will presumably return to haunt restaurant patrons in his own special way once the fervor over evil clowns has subsided.

Some followers of the unfolding phenomenon, however, take issue with the company's decision to have their famous clown go 'under the radar' during these troubling times.

Investigative journalist Adam Gorightly, who has been following the panic closely, declared that "Ronald bears some responsibility for the Clown Crisis and by distancing himself from the problem he is allowing it to spread."

Indeed, despite the attempts to separate Ronald from the phenomenon, it may already be too late as footage recently emerged of a menacing clown dressed in the character's trademark attire and lurking at a McDonald's in England.

In light of that development, perhaps the exiled icon will step out of the shadows for the Clown Lives Matter Rally this coming weekend to assure everyone that he is still on our side and possibly quell the growing tide of haunting harlequins.

Because, as Gorightly mused, "this is much bigger than burgers."

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