Authorities from the National Park Service announced that three monuments in Washington D.C. were targeted for an odd act of vandalism over President's Day weekend.
According to the department, a strange series of scribbled messages appeared on the Lincoln Memorial, the Washington Monument, and the World War II memorial at some time during the last few days.
While one might suspect that the writings related to today's charged political climate, the graffiti was actually far more esoteric and cryptic.
Included among the messages, an official with the department said, were 'insights' such as "Jackie Killed JFK" and musings about 9/11.
Investigators theorize that the graffiti came from the same person since all of the messages featured the similar handwriting, conspiratorial themes, and were seemingly composed using the same magic marker or pen.
At a press conference on Tuesday morning, officials asked for anyone who may have seen the vandal in action over the weekend to come forward with any information they may be able to share.
The call for potential witnesses and media coverage of the crimes will no doubt only fuel the paranoia that is probably festering inside the 'mystery monument scribbler.'
Unfortunately for this particular ne'er-do-well, this time someone really is coming after you.