Log In

Not a Coast Insider Member? Sign up

 
0 SHARE ON
Live Nightly 1am - 5am EST / 10pm - 2am PST
Advertisement

'Mystic' Chinese Monkey Predicts Trump Victory

'Mystic' Chinese Monkey Predicts Trump Victory

As political pundits furiously pour over polling data this weekend, a soothsaying simian in China has already declared that Donald Trump will win Tuesday's election!

Possessing the lofty title 'king of prophets,' the allegedly clairvoyant creature named Geda gained fame over the summer for successfully predicting the winner of the 2016 European football championship.

Clearly still wishing to share his gift with lowly humans who cannot forecast the future, Geda was summoned by his handlers at the Shiyanhu Ecological Tourism Park this week to render a verdict on next week's hotly contested election.

Clad in a yellow shirt featuring his regal moniker, Geda was presented with two life-sized cutouts of Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton.

After serious consideration and using what his keepers called "deliberate thought," Geda ultimately indicated that Donald Trump will be the next president of the United States.

Since Geda is unable to speak to humans, we can only guess at what etheric visions allowed the monkey to make his decision.

That said, his choice appeared to be particularly enthusiastic as the creature not only gave the nod to Trump, but climbed atop the cutout and planted an enormous kiss on the faux face of the GOP nominee!

While we would never question the wisdom of the prognosticating primate, it's probably still a good idea to go and vote on Tuesday, lest Geda's prediction fall victim to some kind of monkey business.

Source: Times of India

More Articles

Advertisement

Last Night

Dr. Jonathan Quick discussed the 100th anniversary of the Spanish Flu epidemic and various pathogens. Followed by Jim Steinmeyer on the history of magic.

More »

Upcoming

Full Schedule »
Advertisement

CoastZone

Sign up for our free CoastZone e-newsletter to receive exclusive daily articles.
Advertisement