Residents of Cambridge, Massachusetts say that they are being tormented by aggressive wild turkeys and they're calling on city officials put an end to the birds' reign of terror over the community.
Over the past few weeks and months, there has been a sharp increase in incidents involving the notoriously-invasive animals with many unfortunate victims running afoul of the fowl.
"There's no stopping them," one resident grimly mused to New England Cable News, "they are sure they own the neighborhood."
Lest one think that such an assessment is hyperbolic, consider that this particular victim allegedly had her window smashed by one of the turkeys and reports that her neighbors' gardens have been decimated by the birds.
Fortunately, city officials are taking the threat seriously, perhaps because one local politician personally encountered the menacing creatures and what he experienced was chilling.
"It was like the turkey was waiting for me,” City Councilor Dennis Carlone told the Boston Globe, "They’re clearly strategizing."
Whether this perceived gamesmanship from the gobblers is simply the birds' natural intelligence or something learned from living in the vicinity the many renowned colleges and universities in the area is a matter of conjecture until one of the animals can be captured and studied.
To that end, solving the problem seems to be harder that it might sound, since the city council says that they're actually not quire sure what course of action to take.
Indeed, the bird battle may be bogged down in bureaucracy as the befuddled board have turned the issue over to a city manager and tasked them with consulting the local animal commission in order to come up with an answer to the dilemma.
While residents wait and hope that the avian invasion does not get worse, one politician hinted that the turkeys may be merely the tip of a more ominous iceberg.
According to this official, residents have expressed "concerns about squirrels, raccoons and all these other forms of wildlife," which is bolstered by one lamentation from a homeowner who spoke out saying, "I don't know about the rest of you, but my neighborhood is overrun by bunnies."
Considering the veritable menagerie that is apparently enveloping all of Cambridge, one fears that there may soon be no room left for the humans who call the city home.