Astrologers Call for Clinton's Birth Certificate

There appears to be a new birther controversy brewing as astrologers insist that they need Hillary Clinton's birth certificate in order to properly see into her future.

The issue, they say, is that the exact time of Clinton's birth remains unknown to the public, leaving her astrological chart indecipherable to those who practice the art of soothsaying.

In the past, dogged diviners have attempted to determine what Clinton's birth time might be, but the answers have proven to be incredibly elusive.

According researchers, Clinton told a New Hampshire astrologer during the 1980's that she was born at 8 in the evening.

However, at a book signing in 2003, an inquisitive astrologer asked Clinton the same question and was told 8 in the morning.

The generally accepted time ultimately became 8:02 AM, based on claims of other astrologers who say they confirmed it with Clinton, but could not furnish any solid evidence for such assertions.

When the Wall Street Journal looked into the strange bit of missing information, the Clinton campaign did not respond to their requests for clarification, leaving the mystery intact.

Some astrologers contend that this is intentional and that Clinton does not want to release the information to the public.

"She may herself not want to give out the exact time of birth," theorized astrologer Arlene Nimark to the WSJ,"there's always something a Scorpio is hiding. They play things close to the chest."

Indeed, in a field where the slightest second could be the difference between two vastly disparate futures, this seemingly insignificant information is critical.

To that end, astrologer Michael O’Reilly observed to the WSJ that "the craft of forecasting is really impossible unless we have a birth time" and, as such, "the public demands" that Clinton share the information by releasing her birth certificate.

So far, it appears that only a small cadre of astrologers constitutes that portion of the public, but it wouldn't be altogether surprising if the esoteric controversy somehow became an issue in this strange election year.

For those keeping score at home, Donald Trump has already provided such paperwork to the public and it revealed that he was born at 10:54 AM.

Coast Insiders looking to learn more about the astrological forecast of both Clinton and Trump can check out the 7/11/2016 edition of the program featuring astrologer Mitchell Scott Lewis.

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Source: Wall Street Journal