By Tim Binnall
A couple in Virginia are the latest victims of Bigfoot banditry after some sticky-fingered ne'er-do-wells snatched a sizeable Sasquatch statue from outside of their home. According to a local media report, the unfortunate heist occurred this past weekend in the town of Catlett, where the five-foot-tall depiction of the famed cryptid had once proudly stood on the property of Mary O’Brien and her partner Matt Payne. Discovering that the Sasquatch had gone missing at some point between Friday evening and Saturday morning, she revealed the sad news on social media and called upon the community to be on the lookout for the faux creature.
"If anyone’s kids show up with a giant Bigfoot statue," O'Brien wrote, "please kindly return him home." Promising not to ask any questions nor press charges should the thief simply bring the "sentimental" piece back, she suggested that the Sasquatch's disappearance was likely the work of some troublemaking youngsters and mused to a local newspaper that "we were all stupid teenagers once." While understandably upset about the statue being stolen, O'Brien seemed to have some begrudging respect for whoever took the 400-pound piece by virtue of how difficult it must have been to move.
To that end, O'Brien observed that when she and Payne purchased the statue from a shop in West Virginia eight months ago, workers had to load it onto their truck with a forklift and, upon arriving home with the piece, "it took three of us" to get it out of the back of the vehicle. She theorized that the cryptid's heft could have caught the thieves by surprise as they actually did not make a totally clean getaway, leaving behind one of the Sasquatch's feet that had broken off during the caper. Be that as it may, O'Brien says that "we will fix him up" if the statue winds up being returned, which she hopes will come to pass now that the word is out about the missing Bigfoot.