By Tim Binnall
The strange saga of an enormous vegetable thought to be the world's largest potato has taken a stunning turn as a DNA test revealed that it is actually just a giant gourd. Dubbed 'Dug' by its proud owners, the proverbial 'faux-tato' made headlines back in November when it was unearthed from the garden of Colin and Donna Craig-Brown in New Zealand. Boasting a jaw-dropping weight of 17 pounds, the suspected spud seemingly smashed the record for the world's largest potato. However, before Dug could be awarded the title, the record keepers at Guinness required that the vegetable be DNA tested in order to prove it was genuine and the odd request turned out to be rather astute.
This past weekend, the Craig-Browns reportedly received an email from Guinness informing them that the DNA test shockingly determined that Dug was, in fact, "a type of gourd." As such, much to the chagrin of its owners, the vegetable's claim on the title of world's largest potato was declared null and void. For his part, Colin expressed bewilderment by the genetic revelation, musing that "I'm trying to rationalize how this has happened." His best guess is that the seedling which gave rise to the giant vegetable had somehow been crossbred with a gourd. "This is the only real sensible conclusion I can come to," he said, "I can think of no other real legitimate way of it getting there."
Although he conceded that Dug was apparently not a potato, Colin still has some lingering questions about the results of the DNA test. "The mysterious part is why did it grow so big," he wondered, "and why does it taste and look like a potato?" That said, he observed that Guinness' rather stringent requirements ultimately wound up preventing a miscarriage of justice as "I could have been awarded a world record for something that wasn't." Having come so close to claiming the title, Colin indicated that he now intends to make another run at the record by drawing on "all the knowledge and scientific know-how that I've accumulated" since he first plucked Dug from his backyard garden.