Fight About Conspiracy Theories Leads to Bizarre Ear-Biting Brawl

By Tim Binnall

A New Year's Day get-together got ugly in Utah on Tuesday when an argument about conspiracy theories sparked a bizarre brawl that ultimately led to one man missing a sizeable part of his ear! The truly odd incident reportedly occurred in the city of North Salt Lake during the evening of January 1st as, authorities say, Bryan David Boyack was celebrating the holiday at an unnamed man's home. In what sounds like a delightful way of easing into 2019, the duo were lounging in a hot tub when things quickly went awry.

According to police, after the pair had talked about conspiracies involving large corporations, Boyack was stunned to learn that the man actually worked for a large bank. His disgust at the revelation resulted in an "extremely heated" argument erupting between the two. Choosing the better part of valor, the beleaguered banker exited the escalating scene and went back inside his home, where he promptly locked the doors.

Authorities in North Salt Lake say that Boyack did not take too well to this predicament although it's up for debate as to whether that was because he was soaking wet from the hot tub and couldn't get inside the house to change or because he was enraged about what he seemingly saw as the man's tacit approval of a sinister banking conspiracy. Regardless of what irked him, Boyack allegedly proceeded to pelt the man's home with patio furniture until he came outside to tell him to stop. Unfortunately, this opened the door to fisticuffs and the two wound up fighting on the man's front lawn.

It was there that the conspiracy-fueled confrontation reached it's gruesome climax. Police contend that, during the tussle, Boyack did his best Mike Tyson impression and actually bit off a chunk of the man's ear. Apparently content with the carnage he is accused of having caused, cops say that he then fled the scene while the injured man sought help. As one can imagine, Boyack is now in an altogether different kind of hot water thanks the hot tub misadventure as he has been charged with several crimes including, appropriately enough, merely 'mayhem.'