By Tim Binnall
In a strange story out of Minnesota, police arrested a man named Patches Magickbeans after he allegedly crashed his car while driving under the influence of hallucinogenic mushrooms. According to a local media report, the incident occurred last Thursday afternoon as the oddly-named motorist cruised along a highway in the community of Silver Creek. An off-duty police officer who was behind the man's van observed the vehicle "swerving and weaving on the road" before it hit a curb and careened into a scissor lift occupied by a pair of construction workers, one of whom was critically injured from the crash.
Cops responding to the accident later noted that Magickbeans "became combative with rescue workers" as they attempted to extricate him from his smashed van. Upon being pulled from the vehicle, police say, he responded to their questions with indecipherable gibberish while "engaging with things in the air that were not actually there." As one might imagine, his behavior caused responding officers to suspect that Magickbeans was driving under the influence. A subsequent search of his vehicle led cops to uncover some proverbial magic beans in the form of hallucinogenic mushrooms. When investigators spoke to the motorist a few days later, he insisted that he was completely sober at the time of the crash.
That said, Magickbeans also indicated that his last memory before the accident was driving through a town approximately an hour away from the crash. Regarding the mushrooms seized from his van, he initially asserted that they were merely fungi he had foraged from the wilderness. However, when pressed on the matter, he eventually admitted they were of the hallucinogenic variety and claimed he had only consumed "a small one" on the day before the crash. Magickbeans was ultimately arrested and charged with multiple offenses related to the misadventure that is unlikely to have a fairy tale ending.