Study Ranks the Best and Worst Cities in America for Vampires to Call Home

By Tim Binnall

An odd study undoubtedly timed for spooky season has determined which American cities are the best and worst places for vampires to call home. Conducted by the landscaping company Lawn Love, of all places, the surprisingly comprehensive project gathered a vast array of publicly-available data concerning specific factors that an undead individual might presumably consider when seeking out a community. Among the attributes examined by the study were positive details, such as the number of potential victims and blood banks, as well as deterrents, like the average amount of annual sunlight, and, to that end, which cities might be most conducive to vampires only being able to leave the house after dark.

The study then weighed each of these various factors and came up with a rather lengthy ranked list of 200 places in America where a vampire might choose to set up camp. Given their sizeable populations and reputations for being bustling even in the wee hours, the top five spots were New York City, Chicago, Philadelphia, Los Angeles, and San Fransisco. That said, the latter half of the top ten did contain some surprises in the form of Pittsburgh, Omaha, and Baltimore as well as Portland, Oregon and Madison, Wisconsin. Meanwhile, particularly hot and sunny places fared rather poorly as all of the bottom ten communities are located in the American southwest with Arizona cities Chandler, Glendale, Peoria, and Surprise being joined by North Las Vegas as the last five locations on the list.