By Tim Binnall
Authorities in a small Maine town were forced to issue an amusing statement after a man in a Bigfoot costume caused something of a stir in the community. The curious case came to light last week when the Damariscotta Police Department detailed the strangeness in a social media post. "Due to the unusually high number of calls received yesterday regarding a Sasquatch, Yeti, Bigfoot, or possibly just a very large and hairy individual roaming around town," they wrote, "we felt it necessary to provide an official update." Citing a "lengthy, exhaustive, and completely serious investigation," the department declared that "Bigfoot is not real."
The post went on to explain that the 'Sasquatch' seen roaming around town the previous day had been "just a guy in a very convincing costume." According to the department, an Officer Smith had a "pleasant" conversation with the faux Bigfoot, who was found "sitting peacefully on Main Street." Determining that there was "no indication of anything nefarious afoot," the peculiar case was promptly closed. While the department jokingly expressed dismay that the sightings did not lead to the "groundbreaking discovery of a previously unknown species," they thanked the community members who were "willing to stop what they're doing to investigate a Bigfoot sighting and keep each other safe."