By Tim Binnall
A cluster of mysterious lights seen streaking across the sky over Sacramento this past weekend left many wondering if they were witnessing something alien in nature, but the origin of the odd objects was ultimately determined to be space junk. The weird incident reportedly occurred on Friday evening when the puzzling group of fiery objects appeared in the sky for approximately 40 seconds. "We were in shock, but amazed that we got to witness it," witness Jaime Hernandez marveled, "none of us had ever seen anything like it." His mystification was echoed by a slew of other observers, who flooded social media with photos and videos of the bizarre event along with the requisite extraterrestrial speculation.
Fortunately, fears of an alien invasion or, worse, the start of World War III were quickly put to rest as several experts stepped forward to identify the source of the strange objects. Astronomer Jonathan McDowell indicated that the incident was caused by a sizeable but obsolete piece of equipment that had been cast off from the International Space Station three years ago and finally made its fiery return to Earth on Friday. The assessment was confirmed by another astronomer, Raj Dixit, who also wisely mused that "I think aliens would be smart enough not to explode in the atmosphere. You would hope that if they could get across the universe, they wouldn't blow up as soon as they got here."