'Asparamancer' Reveals 2021 Forecast

By Tim Binnall

A British psychic medium who has found fame by way of her purported ability to foresee the future using asparagus, of all things, has issued her forecast for 2021. Known as the 'Asparamancer,' Jemima Packington claims that she can discern upcoming events by throwing a bundle of the vegetables into the air and then observing 'signs' that form when they land on the ground. Her unique process and cheerful demeanor have made the psychic something of an annual fixture with the media in England for the last several years.

As such, with 2021 just getting underway, Packington has reportedly announced what her asparagus has foretold for the new year. Among the psychic's intriguing predictions are that coronavirus vaccines will allow for something resembling a 'new normal' around July, "although not a return to pre-pandemic days." The Asparamancer went on to reveal that "we can expect the announcement of at least two Royal divorces and a spate of ill-health amongst Royals of all ages" in 2021. She also foresees a solo return to England by Prince Harry in March, although time will tell whether or not his being alone is connected to one of the predicted Royal separations.

Beyond future events in Britain, the psychic says that President Trump "will be disowned by GOP members because of his appalling handling of the US domestic situation" and indicated that a return to the White House in 2024 will not happen. On a global front, Packington mused that the tribulations brought about by the pandemic will cause the world's population to become kinder and that governments will be forced to reckon with "the will of their people" going forward. The Asparamancer also predicts that 2021 will see a downturn in athletes' salaries, an end to our celebrity-obsessed culture, and that foreign travel will become less commonplace that it had been prior to now.

Before one begins dumping their airline stocks, a revisiting of what Packington's asparagus stalks said would happen in 2020 may be in order. Specifically, she incorrectly predicted that Donald Trump would be reelected, Brexit would happen smoothly, and that the youngest Oscar winner ever would be crowned. And, of course, her mystic vegetables somehow failed to foresee that a global pandemic would transform life as we know it around the world. That said, it wasn't all bad for the Asparamancer as she did predict turmoil within the Royal family in 2020, which earned her headlines and plaudits when Prince Harry and Meghan Markle announced their controversial decision to step down from their positions within the British monarchy.